redd (mynewhero) wrote,

Habla espanol? Non, DE MUERTE!

One of my many New Year’s Resolutions Which I Swore Not To Disclose For Fear Of Public Failure was to learn to touch type. You might think since I got my first e-mail account in 1999 that I would have gotten this down by now but no, I still type with two fingers on each hand while hunched over, staring at the keyboard. But  I have been spurred into action by, once again, having an entire paragraph written only to look up and find the godforsaken thing in ALL CAPS.
This morning I was sent a Unix Ninja by management to help sort out an application I have to support (I’m more of a Unix Kung Fu Panda). So it was that he found me on this site having a cartoon goat teach me the home keys in a heavy scouse accent. Naturally, with my headphones in, it took me a moment to realise he was behind me as I cursed and tried to figure which damn finger ‘J’ was under. Not many ways to come out of that one looking cool.

cd ~/redd/streetcred
rm fonzie.exe
mv ~/redd/suppressed/crippling_shame.exe > ~/redd/streetcred

A pox upon fucking Goats everywhere.

In other news we’re going to Primavera. Actually what’s the hip parlance for this? I can’t afford to sound the fool lest the Unix Ninja finds out and tells all his frien… Ha! I'm totes safe. Anyway is it; Primavera? Primavera Sound? Los Grande Fiesta de Toda Mañana?[thanks google translator]
So yeah, the language could be a wee problem. The only conversational Spanish I do remember from my entire two lessons is ‘Habla Español?’, ‘ Si, un poco’ which is a downright lie. My approach to Spanish will be quite simple, I know about three phrases all of which, I figure, be vastly improved by the addition of a ‘de muerte’ accompanied by a dramatic eyebrow raise. E.g. ‘dos cerveza DE MUERTE, por favor’ see? Nobody would mess with such a dangerous character, I’ll get on grand.
Barcelona in May means Sun. Awesome, yes but if you’ve seen what I wore in Nice you might begin to see my conundrum. My wardrobe consists entirely of clothes to wear where it’s necessary to protect your precious body heat from the elements or clothes to wear while sweating on a bike or running about. What the hell do Irish people wear in such climates when you’re not arseing about on a beach? I’ll either melt or be arrested for lewd conduct.
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