redd (mynewhero) wrote,

  • Music:

knot my hankie and fetch my string vest, I'm off to the seaside.

Tomorrow I fly to Crete with half the be-tracksuited ne’er do wells of Ireland. I’m going on a package holiday. The first I've ever booked.  I realise this would make pretty much anyone who knows me wrinkle their nose and spit but I had reasons. Not great ones but reasons nonetheless. 1) over the past few months work basically stuck some feathers in my hair and rode me like a circus pony. I normally book all my own holidays, searching for good routes, finding decent and interesting places to stay and basically trying to stay away from my countrymen and women as much as is possible but that takes time, a whole lotta precious time. Time I ended up spending jumping through the proverbial flaming hoops while juggling with my hooves. 2) Have you been outside?
So when a few weeks ago I saw this incredibly cheap offer online I jumped at it.

If you care to find out a little bit more about exactly where I’ll be staying our very own stoner journalist, and actual friend of
spear_of_lugh!, Mark Hilliard wrote this lovely article last year. RIOTS!

I predict on this holiday that I will be annoyed by; my apartment, my neighbours, really buff people on the beach, young people, old people, people my age, the ‘All Day English Breakfast’, the price of everything, techno.
I will, however, be pleasantly tickled by; sweet sweet Retsina wine, how hot 25°C actually is, how many books I can monster through when I’m not being constantly distracted by LIFE, and swimming in a sea that isn’t trying to transform me into a eunuch with its icy talons.

Being a jammy bastard (who’s credit card limit has just been upped, Thank You Visa) two days after we return we’re off again, this time to Nice.
This one I did book myself, naturally enough we’re staying in the red-light district, which as sensibleken knows I have a penchant for doing.

If you’re feeling the hate for me right now, relax. Good things are happening to you too. The Office, Parks and Recreation and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia are all back! Sunshine is for losers anyway.
‘Day Man 0oh ah ah ahhh, fighter of the Night Man ooh ah ah ahhhh…’
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