Take a moment to cast a sorrowful gaze heavenwards as we, once again, contemplate the great loss to our civilization that is the mistaken classification of Pluto as a planet.
Today I would like you to consider a far of race of super hot nymphomaniac aliens finding the Pioneer deep-space probe (golden plaque, naked folk; you know the one).
Incensed by lust at the sight of the inscribed gentleman’s barnet they blast off into space intent on finding our well coiffed planet and giving us a jolly good banging. But what’s this? the handy ‘return to sender’ printed graphs show a happy little nine-planet Solar System. No astral rumpy pumpy for us. Bad NASA.
In other Big Bang news the Large Hadron** Collider successfully collided some proton beams and didn’t kill us all. Well done science.
*Feel free to substitute the planets actual name for cheap LOLs… if you’re five years old... or me.
**too easy, anyway it’s been done (here)